Ayahuasca

Ayahuasca, where to start?

Have you ever had a fear of going out, socializing or just struggle living your normal life whilst under the merciless grip of Anxiety?

Ever been depressed, lost or lonely?

Are you one of few people that are ‘Awakened’ and you need to pursue your spiritual journey further?

Well you’re in right place, i’m about to share my 3 experiences with Ayahuasca, the almighty healer from the Jungle regions of the Amazon.

What is Ayahuasca?

In short its a hallucinogenic brew containing DMT (Dimethyltriptamine) a psychedelic found naturally in the human body and throughout nature including plants.

Normally DMT would have to be injected to feel the effects but somehow, the Amazonians discovered a catalyst for the brew (chacruna), to stop an enzyme in our gut called Monoamine Oxidase from dissolving it meaning we can feel the powerful effects of this absolutely disgusting yet life changing brew.

A strict diet is needed in the upcoming weeks to your trip, ill talk about that later.

 

The Beginning 

I remember when it all started, i knew i was thinking differently to other people, i was aware and conscious of my actions. Then i couldn’t be around the same people i had been, it was time for a change, time to move on.

In the process of all this i ended up getting ‘Social Anxiety’, i didn’t want to go out anywhere, do anything or see anyone. It was a nightmare, it wasn’t just affecting me, my girlfriend was finding it hard to understand what was going on, i was normally a super outgoing person that would always be laughing and joking in the crowds.

I went to the Doctors and they just wanted me to shove pills down my neck to mask everything, no thanks.

Then i tried Hypnotherapy: this worked well as a short term fix, like a few days… and it’s expensive!

Then one day i was speaking to a friend that had heard of ‘Ayahuasca’ from a tv documentary, when he was telling me about its healing properties and shamanic heritage i was instantly intrigued, i researched and researched until i knew that this was it, this was going to make me ‘normal’ again!

Miles away!

Yep, miles away.

I Live in the UK, exactly 6063 miles away from Peru. This is where most people are going to get help/ seek enlightenment. I couldn’t do that, not by my self and definitely not after some of the stuff i had read online, as you can imagine Ayahuasca has been turned in to a business out in Peru, there are lots of ‘Dark Shamans’ that are not there for your best interests or to help you get better, they’re there for the money and the money only.  If you ever plan on going to do Ayahuasca in Peru make sure your retreat is reviewed, see if you can contact people off forums that have been there, make sure you’re going to be safe! Ayahuasca can be extremely dangerous without the guide and support of a experienced Shaman!

I wasn’t going to quit just because i couldn’t go to Peru, i kept searching and came across a Ayahuasca retreat in Amsterdam! Okay you’re not out in the Jungle with Shamans half naked dancing about with no socks on but its the real deal hosted by an extremely experienced Shaman called Hannah Klauz.

The Diet

This is one of the most important parts about doing Ayahuasca, for you to get the full experience of this sacred plant you need to fully cleanse your body and mind, this is a serious test of self discipline and commitment.

This is not to be overlooked or disrespected, failure to follow the guidelines giving by your Shaman including carrying on taking medicines or recreational drugs on the lead up to your ceremony could result in serious health risks or even death.

The bottom line is you’ll be following a near Vegan diet for 2 weeks:

2 weeks before ceremony:

-No recriational drugs including Marijuana or Alcohol.

72 hours before ceremony:

-Fried foods.

-Spicy foods.

-Sexual contact.

-Fermented foods.

-Yeast based products.

-Processed foods.

-Over ripe fruits.

-Sweets and refined sugars.

-Pork or red meat.

-Chicken.

-Protein shakes.

-Excessive salt.

-Caffeine.

-Canned meat or fish.

This will be hard, i’d advise practicing even before the two weeks as it gets easier with practice, you’ll find you don’t need a lot of these things in your diet anymore, even when you get back!

Part 1

The first time i did Ayahuasca i went alone, i flew from East midlands air port to Amsterdam, hired a car and drove to Aalsmeer for my chilling out period before the ceremony (see my Amsterdam destination page for more info).

On the day of the ceremony i was nervous, hungry (fasting before the ceremony is recommended) and missing home.

The weather was beautiful in sunny Amsterdam, i was kind of annoyed i wasn’t going to be out in it, but i still benefited from it later on!

I arrived at the ceremony early having parked my car in a underground car park ready to spend the night at the apartment i was doing the ceremony at.

I walked in to a small meeting room, there was about 5 other people just arrived, all with the same nervous, don’t know what the fuck i’m doing look on their faces, it was comforting.

We was greeted with hugs and conversation by Hannah shortly after, we then followed her and the smell of incense sticks burning into the main room, a large white room with huge ceiling windows that was letting the midday sun light up the room, there was about another 8/9 people scattered around the room all laying on mats with pillows and blankets getting to know each other while the rest of us settled in, in the middle of the room was a large rug/throw with candles at each corner representing different portals and large mantle in the middle with candles scattered around.

When everyone had arrived she introduced her self and we got straight to it, she first went on to talk about the Chakras and how day to day stresses and being around negative people block up our Chakras, she showed a great picture of blocked energy systems and clean energy systems, but i don’t have a copy unfortunately.

We then started to prepare the Ayahuasca!

As she poured out the nasty looking brew in to shot type glasses she would bless the drinks and remove the bad spirits by spitting them out, imagine when you have an itchy throat and you try to bring up the saliva from your throat and it makes that loud retching noise, yeah like that then spitting it out, i was skeptical about this at first but as you’ll find out in my 3rd journey it is actually something!

I’d read about the taste of Ayahuasca on line but words can’t really describe the taste well enough, its like a cup of bitter runny mud with bits of twigs in,  but worse. Anyway i managed to stomach it in one without a drink after, there was people that just threw it straight back up and had to try again!

Relaxing amazonian music was playing while we laid down waiting for the journey to start.

After about 40 minutes i started having slight hallucinations, the blinds on the sky light windows was starting to resemble monkeys, then the room i was in started to resemble a temple, i kept my eyes open for a while to take in everything that was going on around me. It was nice, nothing to major, then i closed my eyes and started to travel on a roller coaster through my head, i had to keep opening my eyes every now and then to make sure i was still doing alright.

After about what i imagine was 2 hours, all the hallucinations wore off, i sat up and could see a couple other people had the same situation going off, i remember thinking to my self “is that it? Did i really travel all the way to Amsterdam, do a crazy strict diet for 2 weeks, have no sexual contact and spend a ton of money for a mild 2 hour trip?”

Hannah offered another round for people that wanted, it’s good she does it this way as certain people don’t need large amounts, this is a good way of finding your limit.

I had the second drink about 3/4 full then got back in position, Hannah then walked round and offered everyone a Sage leaf, i took it and waved it up and down across my face smelling it and looking at it, then the second glass started to take affect, quickly!

Remember how i said DMT is in plants? well its believed that its what connects us to Nature and i’ll back that up: The second glass brought absolute light and vibrancy into my vision, the ordinary sage leaf i had been playing with was alive! i could see each individual cell of the leaf as if it was under a microscope from arms length! It became my friend, i was even smiling at it for some reason! while i was touching it i started to notice areas of it was bruising if i touched it too hard, almost like when you apply pressure to your arm and release you see the blood flow back , this was happening on the leaf, i couldn’t believe it, was this possible? i was hardly hallucinating like i was previously, i could see all around me was just booming with color, i looked outside onto the back garden and seen a thousand colors id never seen before, i can only describe it as looking at a brand new ultra 4K TV in a shop and they display super high quality pictures of nature, but times by ten!  Everything was amazing, there was an old lady sat next to me, she must have been 65- she seen how happy i was i couldn’t stop smiling it was euphoric! I just wanted to hug the lady and share the love to everyone, my world was amazing! For a while.

It all turned upside down pretty quick though:

There was a couple of German girls that had turned up to do the Ceremony, but im pretty sure they wasn’t there for healing, a lot of people now are trying Ayahuasca as a ‘bucket list’ experience and Hannah also agrees that these had come to do just that, the girls sat terrified, crying and walking in and out of the room since they drank their glass. I was fully aware of this but it didn’t matter to me, i was in my own world. But then i noticed a lot of fuss int he corner of the room, one of the girls wouldn’t stop crying so Hannah and her assistant removed them from the room to work on them privately so we could continue in peace. After what i imagine was 20 minutes both girls came back in to the room completely ‘sober’ was talking fine and smiling, grabbed their stuff and off they went out in to the streets. it was like magic, what had Hannah done to stop their hallucinations, crying and sadness?

That’s what i wanted to know, like an idiot i merrily asked a guy sat a few spaces up from me and i have quite a loud voice, probably louder when i’m tripping.. he replied saying he didn’t know, but id disrupted the old lady sat next to me and she turned to me and put her finger on her lips and said ‘Shhhhh’ quite with in reason.

But that polite be quiet please to me was translated in to hate and embarrassment, instantly my mood went from 100 to 0, all colors had vanished and all i could see and feel was red inside me like i was going to pop, i’d ruined it, the perfect experience ruined by my own big mouth. From then i had nothing but bad trips for a couple of hours, i had my head in my hands pulling at my hair wondering what i was going to do.

I’d read and seen on line that drinking Ayahuasca causes vomiting or something of the sort, where you wrech up your bad demons and cleanse your inner body by doing so, a lot of people had done this throughout the ceremony in to their bowls provided, i hadn’t needed mine, until now.

I grabbed the bowl and started to violently wretch for minutes on end with nothing coming up, i though i was going to cough up a lung pretty soon! I had to get out of the room, i seeked refuge in the toilet, it wasn’t much better but my paranoia had died down a lot, i sat on the toilet and got my phone out to text my girlfriend, maybe she could help? But before i had the chance i managed to get out what i’d been desperately forcing for the last 20 minutes. As soon as it was out, my whole body started to refresh, everything was getting better, the anxiety, the paranoia, the worry it had all gone, i felt life surging through my whole body. I was Back!

I went back in to the room and got back on my pad, there was singing and dancing going on, i could feel the vibration of the music deep inside me, i remember looking up at Hannah and she was vibrating everywhere, her whole body shaking! it was contagious, i started vibrating, my hands and feet was going for it, i wasn’t doing anything, it was the music specifically the Didgeridoo.

I closed my eyes one last time and i remember thinking about anxiety as an object inside me, in my head. I think started on a roller coaster through my mind, in to all areas and sorting out my head almost like doing a disk defragment on your computer i seen my anxiety and i literally just threw it away, gone. Weird right?  After that i started coming back round along with a lot of other people, some was up dancing, some was still lying down, i sat up for ten minutes trying to get my head around things, everyone was smiling at me which was good, i needed that.

Hannah then ended the ceremony, and when i say ended it i mean she literally said ” I am now ending this Ayahuasca ceremony on the Saturday 16th of September 2017″ and i am not joking when i say this, everyone came round, just like when a hypnotist says “you’re back in the room”, ill still never really understand that, it’s like she literally is in charge, just like with the girls.

It’s such a overwhelming feeling when you come back in to reality, it took me a long time to understand or even try and explain to people how it went, i couldn’t talk it was explainable at the time. I did manage to get an apology in the old lady, she said “why are you apologizing it was absolutely nothing i said it with a smile, i just didn’t want you to interrupt that gentleman’s journey.” All in my head, i knew it.

Hannah brought out Green Tea and fresh Cake to replenish our tired out bodies, then we all had conversations about backgrounds and what lead us all on the same journey and people started heading home, i realized then i was meant to be staying in this very room tonight, after everything i’d been through, everything i’d seen and most importantly when i’m feeling this good, stay here!? No way, i was straight on Booking.com and booked a hotel across Amsterdam that needed a ferry to access, off i went in to the night, a new man, feeling great!

Returning Home

Like all good things, the feeling of greatness wore off after a month or so, but i was eating crappy foods and having a a few beers… a long with work life and compulsory life stresses you cant expect it to last forever, but my Anxiety had gone… i was going out places, doing stuff, anything!

The journey was completely worth it, i had more enlightenment, great experiences and met some pretty cool people, but this was only the start of my Journey, 1 of 3, and they all get better.